Main Actors/Actresses: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner
So this movie pretty much deserves it's own blog in general just to describe how horrendous this movie is. I barely could stand it, but since I'm doing a blog about terrible movies.... I had to. I hated this movie with an absolute passion. Never in the history of movies have vampires looked more like fruit loops than in this movie. This movie, set in Forks, Washington, downs all movies in all! I read part of the book and was fairly interested to my surprise. Then this movie changed everything. It’s like Stephanie Meyer had nothing better to do with her life, I’d preferably set this as a kids movie since nothing about this really represents vampires, it more so represents a movie that someone being held hostage would make. I wouldn’t even make it if I was being held hostage, I’d rather them kill me compared to even watching this movie, even less making it. Stephanie Meyer needs to be ashamed for writing this book and letting anyone even turn it into a movie. I’m actually pretty surprised the Robert Pattinson didn’t kill himself after this movie? It’s a bit scary how you can be a “gay” vampire and not do anything about it. When I think about vampires, I usually think about blood, ferocious, and even deadly.
This movie pretty much made me think about how the movies being produced nowadays have no meaning and absolutely no moral except always do what you want and not what you need. All this movie really relayed in the terms of morals is that vampires sparkle in the sunlight, never go to Washington, and most of all…Twilight is RETARDED, along with Stephanie Meyers.
1. Watch if necessary
2. Brutally Painful
3. Save your friends from watching it
4. Rip your eyes out
5. Burn all copies you see
Of course I couldn't end this review without an alternate ending! I would pretty much say have Bella jump out in front of Edwards car and get hit on accident and then he claims he never knew. Of course there wouldn't be any proof on the car since she was so tiny! Another scenario could be where she tries to do a back-flip on one of the dirt bikes and then crash lands it in a pond! Of course that isn't the end....An Alligator Snapping Turtle has to eat her up after that so that there isn't ever a trace of her. But then there's a problem...What happens to Edward and Jacob at the end? Obviously you can tell how they just stare at each other...That means somehow at the end....Not going to say how...But there are vampire werewolf mutts. I won't go into detail as to how this occurred, but it does.
Thanks for reading!
No comments:
Post a Comment